We won’t be too lengthy this week, because we really don’t want to cloud your senses with too much skettel foulness in the air at a time when your mind needs to be clear to ingest and digest all the details of the budget this coming Monday as presented by the Honourable Dean Barrow. It will, of course, be an HONEST budget, much unlike those handed down from the throne of Sketteldom back in the days when that empire ruled the world and when Retired ‘Lyaad’ was King Skettel.   
 
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Speaking of Retired ‘Lyaad’, we understand those Thursday luncheons have resumed once again. We have to wonder why. We thought Retired

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Which reminds us of a suggestion we want to offer: At the last House meeting, in response to Saintly Skettel’s outspoken envy towards everyone in the legal profession, Prime Minister Barrow suggested that all lawyers in Belize should take up a collection to send the Saintly One to law school. Then, in The GUARDIAN last week, our colleague from ‘Then and Now’ offered the suggestion of a similar collection being taken up to purchase a Rolex watch for G. Mike ‘the Deportee’, and a vehicle for Hammer Host of Bitter Vibes fame.
 
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Well, we wish to second those motions, and offer a further suggestion of our own, our suggestion being that a similar collection, in much the same spirit, be taken up to purchase a voice for the Squeaky One, not because of any expressed envy on his part, but simply because of our sympathy for the poor fellow who just can’t seem to command any respect in the House, the Country, or even the Party.

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Then again, maybe no such collection needs to be taken up. Remember it was Squeaky’s billionaire master, Lord Predator, who purchased for him and his SMART ‘sibling’ (neutral gender) Jaime an ‘entire’ telephone company. Remember, it was Lord Predator who also purchased for Squeaky and his fellow skettel (neutral gender) Amalia (of Venezuelan Grant fame) a national television station (albeit with Telemedia shareholders’ money). Maybe, just maybe, Lord Predator can also purchase for ‘Squeaky’ the voice he is so badly in need of in order to command some ‘respect’ from that worthless and hapless bunch he is attempting to lead. In case you’re wondering why we placed the word ‘respect’ in inverted commas, it is because it’s been said, by skettels themselves, that there can be no respect among skettels, only bought and paid for loyalty. Obviously, the Lord knows that very well. 

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Incidentally (and this might be quite relevant and instructive to some), the television station we speak of, the one purchased by Lord Predator with Telemedia shareholders’ money, was originally housed in a building on Regent Street which, according to historical records, was once a slave quarters. Employees of that station: “Open your Eyes” and beware! Never mind your new domicile on Coney Drive. The Lord’s ways are unchanging!

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Another pertinent footnote:  When Prime Minister Barrow characterized the behaviour of a certain individual intimately and almost inextricably associated with that now dissected telephone duopoly as a clear attempt at modern-day slavery, do you know who specifically he was speaking about? None but the non-domestic tax evader, the knighted one who is the true king that rules over Sketteldom. 
 
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And, oh, while he’s at it, maybe Lord Predator can also purchase some ‘charm’ for the brutish ex-woman cop who, judging from her now central, apparently permanent spot in the lineup of the ‘Skettel Circus’, seems to be headed to coronation as the latest of a multitude of deputy skettel ‘kings’ (gender neutral also, we’d have to say, because on that side these days, the men are NOT acting and sounding too manly, and the women are NOT behaving too lady-like. ‘If Dah Noh Soh’). Perhaps our good friend Ann Marie can arrange some women-in-politics training, specifically for those in Sketteldom, on how to be an effective politician and still be lady-like.
       
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Incidentally, for those folks in the Old Capital who are badly in need of some diversion and amusement, news is that the ‘Skettel Circus’ is finally coming to town! Meanwhile, for those folks in Punta Gorda who might feel a bit left out, you can perhaps find some consolation in knowing that the National Council of Skettels has chosen your town as the next venue to convene this coming weekend. With the recycled ‘VOA cow pen’ skettel down that side, it promises to be tumultuous. Needless to say, our southern fly will be on the wall, and we’ll be sure to fill you in on what will no doubt be the latest outburst of malice in Sketteldom.

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And that’s right where we’ll have to leave it for this week since, as we noted at the beginning, we really don’t want to fog your senses with too much skettel foulness in the air at a time when your mind needs to be clear to take in and assimilate the contents of the upcoming budget, which we all know will NOT be a rosy budget, but an HONEST one, unlike those ‘cooked’ ones presented in the past by Retired ‘Lyaad’ who was king in the days when the empire of Skettels ruled the world. See you all next week.