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From Sketteldom - with malice towards some  Print E-mail
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Written by Administrator   
Thursday, 20 May 2010 00:00

Another round of village council elections is gone, and the skettel party took yet another sound beating around the country. Once again, Johnny took a pounding in his own backyard. And, as we told you before, we’re not speaking about the kind of backyard that attracts and entices ‘pink butterflies’ like the nomadic skettel journalist called Aldana. We’re talking Geography, not Anatomy.

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But back to the substantive issue, which is the poor performance of the skettel party in the village council elections countrywide; the fact that skettels

themselves are now admitting it and blaming the Squeaky One’s feeble leadership for such a poor performance. Clearly, it’s just another welcomed opportunity for the old rulers of Sketteldom to beat up on ‘Squeaky’ and call for his head; or, to put it another way, to call for the return of Retired Lyaad.  
 
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Speaking of whom, if there is one thing Said has ever been truthful about, it is his assertion that, as he put it, Johnny’s leadership will “blow over like wa lee breeze”. What certainly has not, and will never blow over like any ‘lee breeze’ is the disgust and disdain Belizeans have towards him (Retired Lyaad) and his ‘chucky’ friend to the end, Financial Engineering Skettel, also known as ‘Fat Ralph’ or Mr. Montevideo. Take it from us, Said, and please tell it to Fat Ralph: You don’t need this, and this certainly don’t need you!   
     
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That having been settled, let’s get to some juicy gossip from inside Sketteldom. Word is that the imminent return of Said has triggered new attempts at a strained alliance between certain elements who do not particularly care for each other, and who don’t really have much regard for Squeaky as a leader, but who are determined that Fat Ralph must never again take control of the party; which is to say, Lyaad Said must not be allowed to return to leadership; for skettels (like everyone else) know that no one can ever affect the love those two have for each other.

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The new alliance being forged is reportedly between ‘Zinc Fence’ and Senator 3.34 Million. They have agreed to work together in a desperate attempt to shore up Johnny’s embattled leadership, just to ward off the inevitable challenge from the old rulers of Sketteldom, the Fat One and the Lyaad One. We don’t know exactly what is in it for Senator 3.34 Million, but we are sure it can be measured in millions, and sizeable fractions of it. As to Saintly Skettel, it is no secret that he wants to be leader, and he and his X in laws have no doubt concluded that the only possible path to such leadership is through ‘Squeaky Skettel’, whose feeble leadership is bound to be short-lived. To put it another way, ‘zinc fence’ know weh ‘weak fence’ deh.

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For one final note, we come back to the ongoing village council elections. One of the most notable things about these elections, besides the fact that the UDP is winning big overall, is the fact that even in the very few villages where the PUP is hanging on by a thread, skettels have been ashamed to openly identify with their own party. An unusual thing indeed, for if there is one thing skettels have never been known to have is shame. It must indeed be very unpopular and unprofitable these days to be a skettel, so much so that even a skettel is ashamed of being a skettel. 
 
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Everyone knows, for example, that Hattieville is one of the very few villages in the entire country where in the worst of times skettels still rule; even when Fat Ralph was trashed by Hutchie in the overall constituency (Belize Rural Central). Last Sunday, however, the skettel slate, rather than calling themselves PUP, ran as a so-called independent slate under a banner which warned, “Caution: Community at Work”.

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Carrying one such banner was none other than Linsford, the former Youth with no Future, whose wife, Wendy, was on the so-called independent slate. Of course, anyone who has ever been close to Cas and Wendy know that wherever those two appear, Tricky Dickey is never too far away; and so was the case in Hattieville last Sunday. We wonder whether it shouldn’t have been Wendy carrying that sign, and whether it shouldn’t have read, “Beware: Tricky Dickey on the loose.” Indeed, in case you didn’t know, linsford, dat deh dickie da wah dog!

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Skettels, obviously, are not just an endangered species these days; they are a mutating form, and the latest variation, we have now found out, is “independent skettel”. Well, let us end with a caution (or two) of our own. The first is to all decent voters: “Caution: ‘independent skettel’ or ‘skettel-skettel’, a skettel is still a skettel and will never be anything but a skettel. Our second caution is for those so-called independent skettels themselves, and we’ll simply repeat the words of the late Robert Nestor Marley: “You running and you running, but you can’t run away from yourself”. Your skettel self, that is. See you all next week.