We begin this week with an apology, since it appears we have severely offended certain anonymous skettels over at the Filthy Times. If Dah Noh Soh, please let us know. But in the meantime, just to be on the safe side, here goes our apology.

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We wish to state, for the record, that in last week’s installment of this column, and in all previous installments, it was never our intention to tarnish the

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Speaking of guns and custody, we understand that following last week’s firearm embarrassment, someone went ‘ballistic’, and that someone else he was keeping was immediately put out of custody (in Cayo, to be exact). But like a real skettellian wimp, Luke could not stick to his ‘guns’. Two days later, he was back in love, and Gina (we did not say Tillett) was back in custody, and back in her luxurious white SUV, bought and paid for by the Koncas. Or is it by the Predator? Same difference! After all, the Koncas and his possessions (Crocland, Renaissance Tower, unpaid-for Port, and all) are fully owned by none other than Lord Predator. 
 
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We understand also that, as a result of the ballistic betrayal, someone literally cried. And the tears he shed were no ‘crocland’ tears. Luke crying must be an awful sight indeed. It also must be the ‘‘crying’’ which our friend, the anonymous columnist at the Filthy Times, has been reporting on. If Dah Noh Soh, please let us know.

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Again, it was never our intention to dabble in the private affairs of skettels. And, as they say in Creole, “Da noh everything weh good fu eat good fu talk”. So, let us (at least for now) leave domestic sketellian affairs alone, and get back on track, as we continue to follow political developments in the run up to the much anticipated clash of aspiring skettel kings and queens—for entertainment only, of course.

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The date for dethronement of the Squeaky Leader has reportedly been set for the first week in November, and things are really heating up as the battle between supporters of the current leader and those of the old rulers approaches civil war proportions. Amid the bitterness, the sweetest joke is that Musa and Fonseca fanatics are now accusing Johnny of “undemocratic” moves aimed at rigging the convention, and they’re threatening to launch demonstrations against the leadership of their own party if, according to them, the Squeaky Leader and his current executive persist in their attempts to subvert Democracy in the Party.

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How preposterous! Skettels, of all people, should know very well that true Democracy has never been a PUP thing. What’s the term they’ve always used to describe their patented brand of it? Guided Democracy! Well, the people who have the privilege to do the ‘guiding’ this time around are the Squeaky One and the ‘happy tails’ surrounding him. Deal with it, Said and Ralph! How did Carolyn put it? “That’s how we in the PUP do it!”

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More interesting still, guess what’s the proposition supporters of the old rulers are now putting forward in order, they say, to ensure fair play in the leadership convention? Believe it or not, they are demanding that Retired Skettel be immediately installed as interim leader, in order to oversee the process of choosing and crowing a new leader, thereby ensuring that Squeaky Skettel does not have any unfair advantage over his contender in the November leadership convention.

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Notice we said, contender, not contenders. That’s because we have it from good grounds (from reliable skettellian sources, let’s say) that the old rulers of Sketteldom are determined, at all cost, to ensure that the current leader has one single challenger in that convention, thereby guaranteeing that everyone who opposes him throws their support behind that one person. Take note, Johnny, they’re really teaming on up on you this time. To escape such a coordinated and concentrated assault, you will have to be not just squeaky, but slippery!

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And that’s right where we’ll leave it for now. The days ahead should be interesting, though inconsequential, as whoever emerges as the new King (or Queen) of Sketteldom will in fact be leading a fallen empire that has absolutely no chance of rising again, at least not in the next ONE HUNDRED years. Nevertheless, stay tuned, and let’s have some fun!