Are you Good BFF MATERIAL? Print E-mail
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Written by By Thamar Jones   
Thursday, 09 November 2017 00:00

A true friend is one of the biggest blessings we can have in life. I met my best friend even before I could count or talk in full sentences. Shiney Marie Moulton lived next door to my Grandma Jones and whenever my mother took us to visit her, I found my way over to Shiney’s house. We would play catch and climb trees in the yard or sometimes we played with her teapots in her bedroom.

On my very first day of pre-school I cried when my mother tried to leave me with a pack of boys and girls I had never met before, and a teacher who never smiled, and threatened to spank us with a ruler if we were loud; that is until I saw Shiney. I stopped crying immediately after she was dropped off to school that morning. I was happy at the prospect of coming to school and playing with my friend every single day!

By the time we were in infant two, everybody knew it; Shiney and Thamar were best friends. Shiney was loyal, she was kind and she was so much fun! We shared secrets, we shared adventures; we forgave each other after every fight. She was the sister I never had. Today she is still all those things and more to me and I realize how lucky I am to have had her all my life.

Genuine friendships are important and they are especially important in our teen years. The best friends are not necessarily the ones who are always interested in having a good time.  A friend that has your best interest at heart sometimes has to make unpopular decisions such as talking you out of skipping class to go to a party, or dating a certain boy. The best friend role can also be a difficult one when one is going through a hard time (such as a death in the family) and you may not know exactly what you should do to help them through the difficulty. Misunderstandings and dealing with each-other’s shortcomings are also common rough patches that most friends must overcome.

Despite the challenges, friends can provide fulfillment on a deeper level. Connecting with another human on a personal level can make us happier overall. Do you have genuine friends? Are you a genuine friend?

Some characteristics of a good friend include:

Shared interests, activities and passions

A good communicator

Honest, even when it is difficult to do so

Someone that you can rely on

Someone who will be a shoulder to cry on when things are going bad

Someone who will be jumping for joy with you when things are going well

A partner in crime

Someone who looks out for the best interest of their friends

Someone who will encourage friends to live their dreams


Both a giver and a taker


Respectful of other friend’s opinions

A listener

Someone who is not jealous of things that their friend has or does

Someone who understands the friendship they have with their friends and values it

Someone who has similar values to their friends

Someone who is not critical and will not drag their friends down

Ask your friends, in what ways you are a good friend them. They can also let you know in what ways you can improve. Talking to your friends about your relationship can be a great way to improve your friendship with them.

Choose your friends wisely; you become like the people you spend the most time with. And be that friend that can be counted on especially when it matters most.